By Danger Coolidge
Unbelievably Bad Editor
Orion from Sydney have just unleashed their much-anticipated debut album via Cool Death Records, and it’s no minor compliment to say that it’s probably the best record ever released by an artist called Orion. Because there’s been a heap of them!
UB asks Orion bassist Dizzy and vocalist YMAXX to rate five fellow acts called Orion…
– Orion (aka Jimmy Ellis) – Reborn, 1979:
Dizzy: Is that Elvis behind that mask? Did he really die, or did he shun his fame for a lesser sort of fame? It’s important for musicians to raise these sorts of questions.
YMAXX: I’m kind of into this guy. Nice “casio” background music. Seems like just a nerd, a family man trying to live the dream.
– Orion – Star Trek [Tekkno Mix], 1992:
YMAXX: My goodness, imagine during the “voyage”, on your way to your destination, Spork brings out an MPC and he informs you he’s been sampling every crew member in the ship and other various sounds and wants to show you his compiled songs for his new techno solo project and you turn to him and say, “NO! That’s a naughty Spork, ohhurrggghhh you’ve done very very bad, that’s a naughty Spork… look what you’re going to make me do… spread them fingers now!!”
Dizzy: I listened to this whole thing and thought a full hour had passed, but realised the song is only about six minutes long. Is that like the opposite of what happens when you travel at the speed of light?
– Orion – Futuristic Poetry, 1997:
YMAXX: Futuristic Poetry… hmmm I can picture a montage that fits in to this song and it’s definitely not futuristic and most certainly not poetic… This song reminds me of something from Irvine Welsh’s novel Acid House: “Don’t DO ET, DOLLLEEyyy, DON’T SHITE IN ME MOOOOOOOOEEFFFF!!!!!”
Dizzy: Psytrance has never been my thing, but I can maybe understand how some people might like it. This just stresses me out though.
– Orion – Kiss Me, 2008:
Dizzy: Great to see that Italians are still making tasteful pop music.
YMAXX: Definitely the best one so far. Really budget clip, which I also dig. What’s with the film roll background????? I think this guy and someone from an Oasis wannabe band from Sydney could make something more original.
– Orion – Orion, 2010:
YMAXX: What the shit is?? This is just confusing. What is he saying in the end?? Is he drunk?? Because that would make it much less confusing. This song makes me very angry. And not in a good punk way.
Dizzy: What’s with the disco-meets-Voivod art? This sounds like a high-school kid tried to start his first thrash metal band but couldn’t find other metalheads to fill it out, so the bass player is this guy who’s really into Red Hot Chilli Peppers and wears his bass real high and does that bobble head pigeon strut thing on stage; the drummer thinks she’s in White Stripes; and the other guitarist keeps trying to get them to do Rancid covers. To be fair, this is the first Ryan Adams song I’ve heard since “Summer of 69”, so I’m happy he’s trying new stuff.
Listen to the new Orion LP here, out now through Cool Death: